Just how wrong can you get it…

Interflora’s description of my Valentine’s Day flowers:


Germini Seduction
This shapely rose-coloured glass vase is overflowing with Germini in hot pink and red shades.
Finished with luxurious foliage and a claret rattan collar, these vivid and vibrant flowers are guaranteed to make someone smile.

The reality:

Valentine’s Day = delivered this afternoon

The delivery guy was at least apologetic about this, though in a way that made it obvious this was not the first bollocking he’d had today and that he was resigned to receiving many more – he even admitted he’d been met with unhappy customers yesterday when he delivered their flowers as late as 11pm. I’d have been more forgiving if they’d at least given some sort of reason for not being able to deliver – a sick driver, a broken down van, a swarm of locusts in the shop, something, anything…

Anyway, back to the description:

rose-coloured glass vase = clear glass vase

overflowing = two fewer blooms than are visible in Interflora’s picture, lots of gaps, unevenly cut and arranged

hot pink and red shades = red, dark pink, pale pink, white and yellow(!)

luxurious foliage = luxurious is overstating it but at least it matched the picture, shame no-one bothered to clean the dirt off it though.

claret rattan collar = insipid baby pink collar made of something that wasn’t rattan (unless it was exceptionally finely shredded rattan)

guaranteed to make someone smile = who?

I know that Interflora’s Ts&Cs allow the florists to make substitutions, but the colour changes and the general lack of care in putting it together turned what should have been a nice, romantic flower arrangement into a very average bunch of flowers in a vase.

Needless to say we won’t be using Interflora again. Not even for their “free flowers sent anywhere by way of apology” offer.

Codepope was lovely though; I got a really nice card first thing in the morning and a gorgeous silver necklace in the evening – the plan being that the flowers should have arrived somewhere in between – and he came back from town this afternoon with another bunch of flowers which I really must go and put in water now.

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